"In this age of ours, where the quill and parchment reign, the notion of an ‘SMS text group’ strikes me as a curious fancy. Indeed, I am known to partake in social gatherings and have an eye ever keen on the latest of innovations. Yet, why, you may ask, would I eschew this SMS texting? Reflect, if you will, upon my tenure as Postmaster in the year of our Lord 1737. Did I ever declare, ‘Pray, peruse all the missives at your leisure’? Nay, for such liberty in correspondence would be folly.
Consider then, this SMS, where at each moment, one is bombarded with every trifling ‘Yup,’ every whimsical emoji, and each frivolous Thumbs-Up. A ceaseless barrage of notifications, regardless of one’s current engagement!
As for matters of privacy, whilst my words on the subject are not chronicled for posterity, my actions spoke volumes. Well aware was I of the King’s network of spies, many a coin in their pockets, eagerly reporting any tidbit of interest that traversed our postal channels. For communications of a sensitive nature, a cypher was my shield, and in the company of trusted peers at our weekly Junto, discourse flowed freely and securely."